Tonight...

was amazing :D

There is this boy and I'm totally falling head over heals for him. He is the most amazing guy I think ever. He's is talented in more ways than one, he knows what he wants to do in life, and he's helping guide me in the right direction. In his car we both sat in the passenger seat and watched the stars threw his moon roof, it was truely the most amazing experience I've had. I was laying next to him in his arms. Tonight we also sat in his car and he taught me how not to say why, how not to question everything i do. He was teaching me this because I said I over think what to draw, so he taught me how not to over think it. He told me that I am an amazing drawer and I need to learn that so I can just draw, he really helped me. We also sang together, he is an amazing signer he has a few bands. My sister said we should sing together on stage one day, maybe I will if he wants to.

After our long car adventure (in a parking lot of the arcade where Vinny had his tournament) we went back to Kelsie's house. We laid in her bed, and I almost fell asleep in his arms, I seriously felt so comfortable there, like I belonged there and it was right, so right that I could just let go and just let everything happen. At the end of the night i kissed him goodbye, he said he was happy that happend, and so was I. This may be the beginning of a very long and happy relationship :D... so I hope...

What if..

i were to die tomorrow. This was the thought I have been pondering all day since art. It has been on my mind since art because I was telling my friend that my stomach problem has returned and he said I should get it checked because he knows stomach cancer runs in my family. But, honestly, I'm too scared to go to the doctor to get a check up. I've come to realize that people who go to the doctor and find out bad news don't get better, it always gets worse, at least that's how it was for everyone I knew. I need someone to help me through this, someone to go to the doctors with me and hold my hand. Someone to remind me that I'll be ok, even if the outcome says differently. I personally don't think anything is wrong with me, but recently I have been convinced differently.

I can't imagine a world without me, how would the people I see and talk to everyday of my life be effected? How would the people that know me be effected? Would many people miss me, or would they miss me for a while and soon forget me? There are many unanswered questions. I just hope that someone out there will always miss me, someone that truely cares about me.